I went to the Raptors-Celtics Game on Sunday....

... and left thoroughly disappointed. Man, that game was not even close, and it reminds all Raptors fans just how far the team has to go before we can consider them an elite team, or even a playoff team at this point. I mean, I expected somewhat of a letdown after Friday's debacle against New Jersey, but, holy shit, this team had nothing from the get-go.
Never mind the 10-0 run to start the game, this game was shitty to watch from start to finish. Perkins abused Bosh and O'neal inside, and Rajon Rondo blew by Calderon at will every time he had the ball. At least JO came out to play, albeit for 13 minutes. In the second half, the Raps starters played the Celtic's bench for pretty much 20 minutes, and left still down by 20. Embarrassing. Parker scored 15 or something, but had a horrible defensive game, giving Ray Allen shot after shot from the corner. The Raptor mascot was pretty awesome, he did a great Vanilla Ice dance routine, which was highly entertaining, we got free pizza, and there was a girl I recognized a few rows ahead of me, who I went to high school with, but I didn't get a chance to catch up with her. Small world, though. One other highlight was after the game in the booth where they film NBATV post-game crap, the fans were chanting " Fire Mitchell" super loud. Maybe they are right. The team was not prepared, was over-matched at every turn, and the defensive lapses have to fall on someone, and Sam IS the coach, so I dunno...

Mugsy's First Raptors Game

All I can say is that I enjoyed my first NBA game so much more than I thought I would. I have seen one other "pro" game, in 1994 in Hamilton for the World Championships. Dream Team 2, baby. But that was a long time ago. This time, it is the Toronto Raptorials vs. the Miami Heat. So, anyway, I have side prime tickets, which are about twenty rows back from the floor seats. Great tix. Great game. 22 lead changes after 3 quarters. D-Wade is dunking everywhere. J-O is blocking all shots. Bosh is Bosh. Calderon, is, well, sitting out with a pulled hammy. That was the only downer about the game. But on the bright side, I bet my buddy that Bargs would outscore Jose. Cha-Ching!
The highlight for me came when Jermaine blocked a lay-up attempt by I believe it was Mario Chalmers, and Ukic ran it down court, flipped it to Kapono for a transition 3-pointer. The crowd went nuts and that capped a 15-2 run. Game over. Free pizza too.

Compare this to my first Maple Leaf game of the year, last night at the ACC. We got tickets against the glass!!! Ten seats from the players bench. Pretty fucking crazy. Got 'em from the scalpers at 67% off pretty much. Great game, lots of hits, one fight, and good action end to end. BUT, everyone one around us was a corporate suit. I guess that's what to expect with such expensive seats. We were by far the loudest, most obnoxious people in our section. Every time we tried to start the "Go Leafs Go" thing, the suits looked at us as if we were high on the dope. It was demoralizing. Some arseholes behind us were even talking about mergers and profit margins or some shit during the fight! Totally unacceptable in my book. So we decided to get progressively louder and drunker. We paid pretty good cash the the seats, and if the jerks behind us don't want to stand up, they can sit down and stare at my fat ass. They actually asked us to sit down during the last minute of the game, when the Leafs had multiple opportunities to score. The shame. The worst fans in the league, no doubt. So at the end of the game, I decide to climb against the glass for a picture opportunity. I fell into the first row of seats, then rolled out onto the aisle way. We got kicked out. Well, not so much kicked out, but as we were leaving and yelling at the ushers(whom we called bouncers for some reason), they were yelling for security. Then we proceeded to make fun of a Bruins fan with a mullet, and I flicked my cigarillo(quit smoking regular smokes) at him.
One observation- Raptors fangirls are waaay prettier than Leafs fangirls, for whatever that is worth. and much more knowledgeable about their respective sports.

Doug Smith: nihilist

On Prime Time Sports tonight, Stephen Brunt floated absurd rumours that Vince (He Who Shall Not Be Named) Carter might return to Toronto through a trade.

In discussing Carter's ugly departure from the Raptors, Toronto Star beat writer Doug Smith said: "Everything always ends badly everywhere."

Is Doug Smith goth?

Magic Vs. Bird

So, in the early going of the new season, Boston and LA are the class of the NBA once again.  I hate that with all the changes and trades and awesome rookies that came into the league this year, that we will most likely end up seeing the same two teams battle it out for the Larry O'Brien Trophy in June.  They are so obviously better than all the other teams that I just know this is going to happen.  I know, it is 7 months away, anything can happen, etc., but, barring any serious injuries to any rotation guys, the whole regular season is just a formality.  Don't believe the hype on the Atlanta Hawks.  I implore you.  I mean, they are good, that is true, and played the champs close, but they are still Atlanta.  They are okay, but they are Toronto Raptor okay, if that makes sense.  Being a Raptors fan is tough, I don't know where to start.  I guess they are where they should be, hovering right about at .500.  Bask in you mediocrity, Raptors!  JO has been alright, if a little inconsistent,  Bosh is his usual beastly self, Calderon is regressing a tiny bit in my book, but is still All-star material, the bench sucks, Bargs is way too inconsistent, and we all know how I feel about the shooting guard/small forward positions.

I guess if  I had to pick a "sleeper" team, or a team to watch, I would say the Portland Trail Blazers, just like everyone else.  But, I must say, once Utah gets on a roll, watch out!  I have a man crush on Deron Williams, and Kirlenko is a Fantasy demi-god.  As far as the East goes, I do not think anyone is really that good (besides Boston), and talks of the West's supremacy over the league being in jeopardy are vastly untrue.   

Draft Mike Bozzer

Despite being a combo guard with good size and the ability to attack the basket, Muggsy Boz was never drafted by the NBA. Fortunately there is more than one NBA, and the Nunavut Bozzer Association is making Mike Bozzer its first and only overall draft pick.

http://draftmikebozzer.blogspot.com.

Frozen Five Ball Tournament This Weekend

So, the time has finally arrived. The first tournament of the season, with a record 5 teams participating. We have the High School Musicals, a bunch of players from the local school; the NunaBombers, an ornery bunch of old pricks, who are favoured every year because they pick their team weeks ahead of time and get all the good players; Our Magic Johnsons, the best team in all the land (mine); the Fab Seven, which has no ring to it whatsoever; and the Underage Underdogs, who are a bunch of young random dudes with no game.
Games start at 9:00 am Saturday until 5:30, and Sunday from 9:00 to the championship game at 4:00pm.

I encourage both readers to come out and watch some overweight, undersized, unskilled players chasing after the glory years of high school.

Obama abuses McCain in swing states, low post

First of all, let's give John McCain some credit for a classy, educated and humane concession speech last night. Too bad he's a Republican and that kind of oratory doesn't go over well with the GOP core, who booed like pricks throughout most of McCain's speech. Especially anytime he mentioned Barack Obama's name. It was shameful, and by the way he cringed you can tell McCain thought so too.

I don't know what the Republicans were so upset about. They're rich and they live in Phoenix where it's warm. Just go grab a margarita and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

I don't have to tell anybody about the significance of what happened last night. But the sight of what, 100,000 in Grant Park, a crowd of normal people, of all races, all of whom were freaking out happy was pretty moving. Seeing Jesse Jackson crying was pretty amazing. What made me sad was that we all wanted Obama to get off the stage ASAP so no one would shoot him. The next hurdle is seeing America electing a black president and not having to worry about that.

Regardless, after having lived through eight years of delusional, criminal, kleptocratic Bush rule, today is a good day for the human race.

What has this to do with basketball? Duh, Obama's got good low-post moves and is a deft passer. Just ignore the wiener doing the play-by-play. Mute it or something.

AI, A Bad Boy

Wow. What a trade that may or may not happen today. According to Truehoop, Allen Iverson is going to Detroit in exchange for Antonio McDyess and Chauncey Billips. I think this is a great move for both teams. It gives the Pistons a major scorer, and a shakeup after only one championship and 5 semi-finals appearances. Denver gets a true point guard, and this is also a homecoming for Billips, a University of Colorado product.
Crazy, crazy day. I have heard of this trade for about a year now, but it is finally coming to fruition. It also bodes well for my Fantasy Team, anchored by Carmelo Anthony. I see him averaging about 29 points a game, with more assists as well. Maybe I should have held onto Jason Maxiel, who is prime to get bigger minutes for the Pistons now that Mcdyess is a goner.

Some thoughts on 2.5 quarters of the Toronto season opener

First, and I cannot stress this enough, the departure of the reprehensible Chuck Swirsky is the best thing that has ever happened to Canada. EVER. Matt Devlin is energetic, has a great network broadcast voice, and most importantly, actually understands the game of basketball. Swirsky isn't good enough to call games in the Filipino league. The Bulls hired Scott "You make me wanna PUKE!" Skiles, so I guess that explains why they hired Swirsky.

I love 76ers fans. Early in the second half, Sam Dalembert gets the ball off a pick and roll and is sensibly left wide open by the Raptors. Dalembert fakes a shot and the whole arena (about 11,000 people) yells "Noooo!" (UPDATE: The Globe's Michael Grange attributes this howl of protest to Philly point guard Andre Miller. Since Grange was actually in the arena, I'll defer to his version, but I still think some of the crowd was yelling too.)

Toronto's positional defence looks good, but their defensive rebounding still leaves something to be desired.

Good Joey Graham came out and brought that nice little spin move in the paint. Muggsy Boz shits himself with rage.

Chris Bosh is playing out of his mind, Jermaine O'Neal is doing exactly what they got him for and Jose Calderon looks like a 10-year pro. With 3:50 left in the third, Bosh and JO have 32 points and 17 boards. Nice.

Bargniani does look stronger and in better shape. He's still missing some shots, but he's playing aggressively, which was his main problem last year. If he keeps this up he'll be okay.

Plenty of ball movement for TO in the third quarter. Largest lead of the game so far for TO. Plenty of ball movement for me too, but I attribute that to the boxers. What?

Theo Ratliff just destroyed a weak layup attempt by Roko Ukic. It looked like a volleyball spike. Ukic comes back and makes a stupid foul. Rookies.

Reggie Evans is rocking a razor-bald top with a shaggy beard. I think I might give it a try.

Holy shit, did Jason Kapono just block a shot? I'll watch myself though because he's been shooting the lights out tonight.

Jermaine O'Neal and Elton Brand playing volleyball for a rebound is a beautiful sight. Brand's been pretty quiet tonight though.

Kapono drains a three with 1:41 left to give Toronto a 93-82 lead. All 30 people left in the stands go to watch the Phillies-Rays game. This looks like the type of game the Raptors braintrust had in mind when they traded for O'Neal. Good (though not great) team defence, terrific ball movement, and contributions from the role-players to take the load off the big three. They also made a much-hyped Philly team look pretty pedestrian. The janitors waiting to clean up at the arena booed the Sixers pretty heartily.

That's all for our first liveblogging adventure of the season. The jokes were okay I think, but maybe we'll try adding Boz and some beer. Probably the result will be more dick jokes.

Dear god

My day job requires me to sit through a mouldy AGM, but fortunately I'm diverting myself by thinking about how the NBA season kicks off tonight. I'd make predictions, but what's the point. We all know Boston and LA are the teams to beat, LeBron will be good, Greg Oden looks like he's 400 years old and so on.

I'd just like to name my biggest disappointment of last season: no sportswriter took the opportunity to make a classic hardcore punk reference in regard to the Celts' championship win last year by writing the headline: "This is Boston, not LA."

Yeah, I'm a dork.

Oh, and it'll be a good game, but Philly will beat Toronto tomorrow night.

The Best Thing About Hoops Is Fantasy Hoops

Tomorrow evening is my fantasy basketball draft. This is very exciting for me, and gives me something to do while "working". Your tax dollars at work, ladies and gents. Well, this year, we have a new Commish, Teye Ahulu Stern. T-Diddy, as he likes to be called, is kind of a bastard, as he set up the league for 10 teams, but now 12 are in it. That means I may have Kris Humphries as my starting centre, or if I am lucky, Erick Dampier. This is not a good thing. Also, I was under the impression that it was a free league, but now it is a $30 entry fee. It is not much, but I promised folks it was free, so we will see how that goes. It is not exactly a bank breaking amount, but I digress.
The thing about Fantasy Hoops is that you want to stay away from players you are attached to emotionally, like any Raptor in my case. It is tough this year, especially, because a lot of stars have switched teams, and some young guys are knocking on the door to superstardom. Who knows how Greg Oden or Derrick Rose will do?
The format we use is head-to-head, which means that each week, my roster goes up against another guys' roster. Categories include: Points, Rebounds, Blocks, Assists, 3PTM, FG%, FT% Steals and Turnovers(the less the better for this category).
I am the defending champ, and we have a lot of the same returning guys in the league, so it should be real fun. One of the best parts is the trash talking that occurs, and the trades you can offer up to rivals. Anything goes really, so you have to be a little thick-skinned. Ethnicities, employment status and respective girlfriends/wives are not off limits.
I look forward to my battles with Bob Izumi Jr. I hope he brings his shit.

More sympathy, this time for the devil

The devil being Toronto, which we are commanded to hate, because, well, nobody actually knows. I always have fun when I visit. What's the deal?

Anyhow, I sympathize with my fellow hoopsters in Toronto right now because it looks as though 25 Raptor games won't be broadcast because Rogers cable doesn't carry TSN2.

My initial reaction to this news was "Whoopdee fuck. Neither do we, what's the big deal?"

Not only that, because Iqaluit Cable is completely retarded, we don't even get The Score, which is home to about 20 Raptor games and 40 more NBA contests. We get two channels of the CW (though one carries Clippers games, which is okay, I guess). Why not ditch the one that doesn't and carry The Score?

Or better yet, ditch the WORST television network in the country in NTV (Canada's Superstation-if you've been eating blotter acid for a week straight). Yeah yeah, we have lots of Newfies here. But you know what? More people like sports than like Newfoundland. That's an undeniable fact, so fuck Newfoundland.

Anyway, back to my initial reaction of whoopdee fuck. I changed my tune, because I remembered that our mayor and possibly-soon-to-be-MLA Elisapee Sheutiapik is good friends with Toronto mayor David Miller. I know that Elisapee's game is hockey, but maybe she and her friend could issue a joint call on behalf of their basketball constituencies for the respective cable systems to get with it.

She's running for office, so what's one more promise? Consider the gauntlet thrown down here mayors. Please help.

A regression for the Raptors?

After reading so much about the Raptors' pre-season games, only because I do not have RaptorsTV, I have come to the conclusion that we will take a step back this year. It sounds as though our Achilles heel is once again the small forward position. We might even have to resort to starting Joey Graham at the position. Jamario Moon has been totally underwhelming from what I gather, and that spells trouble for the Raps.
This is bad, so bad. I expected a semi-breakout year from Jamario, but this seems to not be the case. Maybe the solution is starting Bargs at the 3, but that seems really lame.
I once thought a 50 win season was in the bag, and a 4 seed. Now, I think we will finish with 44 wins and a 6 seed, and have to play Philly or Cleveland instead of a team like Washington in the first round. Anything less than a second round appearance is a failure, and major changes would have to come in 2009-10.
Fuck Joey Graham.

I Heart the ESPN Trade Machine

Man, do I ever! So, being a Raptors fan, I am always looking to improve upon a roster filled with deficiencies. One Shawn Marion, currently of the Miami Heat, would be a cure-all for what ails the Rap's porous D. And help immensely with their atrocious rebounding. Imagine a front line of Bosh, JO and the Matrix? Sick sick sick. All of them are capable of averaging 20 pts, 10 rebs. I know that being on the court at the same time would see their respective stats go down slightly, but that is a killer lineup. All we (*when i say "we" it always means the Raps) have to do is trade Bargs, Hassan Adams, Jason Kapono, Roko Ukic, some other scrub, a draft pick and cash considerations!
Someone get Colangelo on the phone! Let's make this shizz happen!
But alas, the Trade Machine does not take into effect the reality of the basketball world, only the dreams of thousands of basketball fans the world over. It only takes into account the League's convoluted team salary structure. I even had a three-way deal completed that saw Vince Carter go to the Heat, and Marion to the Raps. New Jersey got everyone else.
In short, the Trade Machine is more addictive than crack and Spider Solitaire put together. Maybe Isaiah Thomas could've used this program, God knows he could not have done any worse.

Sympathy

This from the almighty Truehoop: a Briton complains about how hard it is to be a basketball fan in the U.K.

I can sympathize, since in Canada, when you tell people you don't really like hockey, and prefer basketball, they look at you like you just burned down Parliament.

Anyway, this post is also worth reading for the following sentence: "I also don't gesticulate with my hands like a crack addled twat...."

Solidarity, friend.

Basketball Tournament

There will be a 5 0n 5 tournament at Inuksuk High School in Iqaluit Nov.8 & 9.
Registration costs are $15 per player, minimum 5 players per team. Girls and guys welcome. Must be 16 or older.
Pick your own team and teams must be registered by Nov. 5th.

For more information please contact:

Jeff Kheraj: (Ph) 975-7263 or martalik@hotmail.com

Or

Ian Rumbolt: (Ph) 979-0862 or ian_rumbolt8@hotmail.com

All-Time All NBA Team

In the spirit of getting the ball rolling, I figured I would create a list of my All-Time team.
It seems like any self-respecting sports blog has one of these, even though they are a little played out. The roster includes 12 players, a coach, and of course, a mascot. Nothing should shock any readers on this list, but I may have a few surprises, like the fact that I am running with three guards. This team is a little 80's-centric, but that is the era in which I came to love the Game, so suck it.

Let's start with the obvious, shall we?

Starters
PG- Magic Johnson- Was a threat for a triple-double every night, led the Showtime Lakers to 5 titles, and at 6-9, was the prototypical big point guard. Career was cut short in 1991, when he announced he had contracted the HIV virus. He did return to the court in 1995, and later coached the Lakers for a few dozen games. Not too many folks will remember the "Magic Hour", thank Christ.

SG- Michael Jordan- Easiest one to choose. 6 rings, most scoring titles, highest career PPG, and was one of the best defenders of his time. No doubt the best player ever. Not such a good executive, which is a running theme with this team. Pure no-brainer.

G- Oscar Robertson- Have to have the Big O here. Was a triple-double machine before they even invented the term, and in 1961-62, averaged a triple double. career totals of 25.7 PPG, 9.5 Asst. and 7.5 Rebs. Too complete a player to be left off the list.

PF- Larry Bird- Toughest call for the starters. Not a true "4", but I put him here for his 3-pt. shooting, his clutchness, and of course, his trash talking ability. My buddy Teye would say I put him here to have the token white dude, but he's a douche. Career averages of over 24 points, 10 boards and 6 assists. One of the greatest passers ever for his position. Along with Magic, saved the NBA from the cracked out 80's.

C- Bill Russell- Greatest winner in the history of the game. Won 11 titles in 13 years, including two as player/coach. Became the first black coach in the NBA, and is considered the best defensive player ever. If blocked shots were a statistical category back then, he would also be the all-time leader.

Reserves

F- Scottie Pippen- Overshadowed by Jordan, Pip was the most versatile player of the 90's. And my personal favourite. He could play four positions with the best of 'em.

PG- Isiah Thomas- Say what you will about his coaching/executive career, but this guy was a straight gangster on the court. Two titles with the Pistons, and had the heart of giant, even though he was about 6'0.

F- Elgin Baylor- Wasn't gonna put him on the list, until I read this article by the great Bill Simmons. Yet another great player and piss-poor GM.

G-Jerry West- The logo, one of the great scorers of his time, and the one awesome GM on the list.

PG- Bob Cousy-I have to Cousy here, because he was the floor general of the greatest Celtic's team of the 50's and 60's. Could do wonders with the ball, and had a wicked nickname, the Houdini of the Hardwood.

C- Wilt Chamberlain- Banged a lot of girls. In his spare time, dominated the boards like no other, and once averaged 50 points for an entire season. Scored 100 in a single game, and banged a lot of girls. Was so dominant, that when critics started to consider him to be a selfish player, he went out and led the league in assists the next year, to the detriment of his team's success. Which makes him even more selfish. Plus he was a pimp.

F- Kobe Bryant- Had to have one guy from today's game, and it is Kobe. 3 rings, some scoring titles, and a real killer instinct. Almost did not put him here because he scored 81 points against my Raps, and overall I hate him, but he is the best player today, no doubt. Also an underrated defender.

Coach- Red Auerbach- 9 rings, retired being the all-time winningest coach, and pioneered the evolution of the game by drafting and playing black players in the days that black players couldn't even stay in the same hotels as their white teammates. Also hired Russell as the first Black coach. A legend and a hero.

Mascot- The Suns Gorilla- I don't really know the title he uses, or his real name, but he is the best mascot ever, and I don't care what you think.

Notable exceptions- Shaq, Kareem, Lebron, Bill Walton, John Stockton, Karl Malone, Tim Duncan, Arvidas Sabonis(international), and Earl "the Goat" Manigault( best street baller ever).

That does it for my list, hope you folks enjoy it.

Shootaround

Welcome to Aqsaq, what is, to my admittedly limited knowledge, Nunavut's first blog dedicated exclusively to basketball. We're going to have guest writers, analysis, and as much local content as possible. We're also going to make fun of the Knicks a lot. Man I wish Isiah Thomas was still coaching them.

We have real jobs, believe it or not, so things are going to be slow around here until at least one of the ongoing election campaigns ends. And hell, regular season doesn't start for three weeks anyway.

So in the meantime, here's a placeholder until we can get some real content. From Janurary 10, 2008, adapted from and reprinted courtesy of inflatable elvis.

After years of sucking, the New Orleans Hornets are close to the top of the NBA's Western Conference standings. Chris Paul is the second most exciting new point guard in the league (after Utah's Deron Williams, IMHO), and Tyson Chandler is destroying people in the post.

But owner George Shinn is running, admittedly, a business and given that state and local governments in the Gulf Coast region are trying to rebuild actual important things like levies, roads, and schools, means they have limited time or money to bail out a moribund franchise that struggles to draw even 12,000 people per game. And of course, when daily survival in the Crescent City is hard enough, and the local economy is in tatters, the notion of public support for pro sports there (or anywhere, for that matter), is obscene.

That had AOL blogger Tom Ziller writing about the lineup of potential new homes for the Hornets: "Where to? Mayors/prospective NBA owners of Kansas City, Anaheim, San Jose, Las Vegas, Nunavut... start your engines."

Insert that record scratching sound here. What? This is how rumours start, and given how little southerners know about the place, anything is possible. So I corrected the record.

"While it's nice to see Nunavut mentioned as a possible home to the Hornets, it's worth pointing out that Nunavut is a territory, not a city.

It's a little known fact that the capital, Iqaluit...has just broken ground on a $250 million 19,000 seat state-of-the-art arena, for which it needs an anchor tenant. Unfortunately, this is a hockey town, and I will be the only person who would go."

That last bit isn't true. I can think of three or four other people who would go. As for the teamless arena, that's actually Kansas City's current problem. And of course, even with their bad attendance the Hornets still put roughly twice Iqaluit's population into the New Orleans Arena every night.

Ziller, showing a classy populist touch, but not realizing he's been had, responds:

"Hope you get your tenant, mate. Lovely country up there, I hear. Heading to Alaska in the spring. Maybe the D-League can stick a squad in Anchorage? Thanks for commenting."

That would be cool, though it won't help Iqalummiut, who need a decent rink that isn't sinking into the tundra, never mind a luxury First Air Centre. But none of this is Tom's fault, and I am genuinely impressed he took the time to write, seeing as he likely gets notes from dozens of crackpots daily. And he's right, it is beautiful country up here.

Basically, I'm an asshole.